The ’90s are back with a bang. From That ’90s Show popping up on Netflix to crop tops, waistcoats and doc boots sneaking their way back into wardrobes. We thought we’d dive into one of the biggest ’90s phenomena just in time for Valentine’s Day – Love Languages.
Love Languages – better known as communication – can be the difference between a thriving working relationship and a total breakdown. You may be giving quality time to someone who doesn’t appreciate the effort, or they may not be giving you the validation of a job well done. Communication is key to a thriving workplace. Without it, team bonding can fall off and it can lead to poor retention.
So how can you use love languages to help your team communicate better together? Let’s explore.
What are love languages?
Let’s start at the beginning. Back in ‘92, author Gary Chapman released his best-selling book ‘The 5 Love Languages’. It explains how we all communicate love differently in romantic relationships and describes how people receive and express love.
Here’s a quick breakdown:
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Words of affirmation
Not surprisingly, this love language is all about the verbal expression of affection. If this is you, it means you love to receive compliments and verbal validation.
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Quality time
Enjoy spending time with others? Quality time is your love language. You desire undivided attention and feel most loved when your partner is totally focussed on you.
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Acts of service
Appreciating actions over words means your love language is acts of service. Often it’s the little things someone does for you that make you feel loved and appreciated most.
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Receiving gifts
This isn’t necessarily a materialistic love language. If you enjoy receiving gifts, you’ll likely also appreciate the thoughtfulness as well as the effort that went into finding them.
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Physical touch
If you prioritise physical intimacy, your love language is physical touch. From holding hands to a foot rub, you’ll enjoy many forms of physical affection.
So how do they work at work?
To make love languages work in the workplace, we have to dig a little deeper. And through understanding one another’s languages, it’ll help you and your team feel heard and appreciated by one another.
So let’s explore how you can put them into practice in your office.
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Clear communication (e.g. words of affirmation)
If your colleague appreciates words of affirmation, they’ll benefit from feedback and mentorship. So take the time to think about the best way to communicate – whether the feedback is positive or negative, make sure you’re communicating clearly.
Put it into practice:
Share a “kudos” in a team meeting to highlight a job well done. Or put in some time with someone to discuss wins and work-ons.
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Team bonding (e.g. quality time)
There’s nothing better than one-on-one bonding for someone who values quality time as their love language. Bonding isn’t about work itself – it’s more about the relationship building that happens around the work that brings people closer together.
Put it into practice:
Take a genuine interest and get to know your co-workers. You could take the team out to lunch or schedule a one-on-one simply to catch up.
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Showing support (e.g. acts of service)
Actions speak louder than words for these people, so try and find ways to show your support. You obviously don’t want to do the work for them, but they’ll feel appreciated if you take the time to help them problem solve to get to a solution.
Put it into practice:
Lend a listening ear, put aside some time to help guide them or share some resources that they might find helpful.
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Celebrating opportunities (e.g. receiving gifts)
Although a small birthday gift won’t go unnoticed – gifts in the workplace don’t need to be tangible. They’re more about actions that show you notice them so they feel like they’re contributing to the team and business’ success.
Put it into practice:
Demonstrate your confidence in your co-worker by bringing them into a big project you’re working on. Or reward hard work with a bonus.
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Encouraging touchpoints (e.g. physical touch)
Physical touch is obviously something to steer clear of in the workplace – but there are non-verbal things you can also do. Showing active listening, like good eye contact, or nodding or smiling while someone is speaking is important.
Put it into practice:
Maintain eye contact while your co-worker is speaking, and remember to share words of appreciation for good work.
So take a look back to help your ‘23 team move forwards. After all, through understanding one another’s work love language, it makes it much easier to communicate and encourages your team to get to know one another better. So what are you waiting for? Find out which love language your team are speaking today.
